I had a surgical abortion - the GREATEST mistake I have made

Hi, my name is Mellisa and I have a 10-year-old child. I am with my partner of over nine years and its great. Two months ago I found out I was pregnant and then that's when I got scared and thought of everything.

I'm studying and a baby just wouldn't fit. My partner was fine and happy so it was my decision and he supported anything I wanted to do. I also had the worst morning sickness which was all the time and was spewing green, I fainted in the doctors, became anaemic, and the list goes on.

With all that scaredness I made a decision to have an abortion (click for other accounts of abortion). The next day without thinking anything my partner drove me there, as I asked him to, and supported me in my decision.

It was over very quickly. I had a surgical abortion (read other stories of surgical abortion). This was the GREATEST mistake I have made. The pain just didn't go away emotionally.

It's 6 days after the abortion and I'm healing fine but I'm so broken and I cry all the time asking Jesus to do a miracle and put my baby back in my tummy.

To be honest I can't bear it anymore. I feel traumatized and blame myself every day. I look at everything and think of my baby. How could I do this? I'm a strong believer in Christ and don't believe in abortion because I fear God but with all the fear I didn't know what to do and it got to me and I went and did this.

I can't take it any more emotionally. Somebody, please help. My partner is kind and supportive still. I want another baby. Please assist cause writing this down lifted a load of my chest.