Our baby was 7 weeks 3 days when it stopped growing although I was 10 weeks when we found out

Hi all, I normally would not do this but I decided to share my story so I can help others. I most recently suffered a miscarriage and I had never been more petrified of any experience in my entire being.

I had to do a lot of reading and research to learn of other people's experiences and particularly to help me decide on what method to adopt after the loss i.e whether natural or evacuation etc. Please note I am not a doctor and I am by no way giving advice, I am simply sharing and hope it helps.

I am sorry that you are going through this rough patch and I pray that we all have happier stories to tell in the future.

Our baby was just 7 weeks 3 days when it stopped growing although, I was about 10 weeks when we found out the sad event. It did not have a heartbeat at any stage so we prayed that it will get a heartbeat but it did not.

We waited for about three more weeks just to be sure and three different scans including two trans-vaginal scans still showed that it was still 7 weeks 3 days so it was obvious it had stopped growing.

As devastated as we were, we had to start thinking of what steps to take. The doctor advised that we have it evacuated but I initially wanted a natural miscarriage simply because I was terrified of experiencing pains while it was being done medically. I was also afraid of being put to sleep because like many others, I was afraid I would not wake up again.

I was advised that the natural process might take too long to start and being already 12weeks gone, there was no guarantee of when the natural process would start. Further, that the contraction pains, like labour pains, were quite unbearable.

I was sad and burdened and we wanted a fresh start as soon as possible. A relative who is a consultant anaesthetist reassured me that I would wake up and that it was better I was put to sleep than having local anaesthesia where I would be numb but know everything that was going on.

I felt better having the advice and decided to go ahead with general anaesthesia. I was booked in for surgery the next day.

I got to the hospital, the consultant gynaecologist that was to carry out the process was nice and made jokes to make me feel calm and the nurses were ever so friendly and helpful and reassured me that all will turn out well.

I was prepared and finally given the injection to put me to sleep, no tube was put down my throat - it was nothing complicated at all. My husband was not allowed in the theatre so he waited for me.

I am not sure how long the whole process took but it really was not long at all. I doubt if it was over 20 minutes. I had to wait for a couple of hours for the anaesthetic to wear off completely and we were able to go home.

I was told to go home to rest and sleep it off and I did just that. I felt better afterwards and mentally free. Surprisingly, I was able to go to work the next day and everything was back to normal.

I was sad I lost my baby but I believe that there are better days ahead and many more to come by the grace of God. Prayer also helped to strengthen me a lot and reading the bible, particularly Isaiah Chapter 43.

Finally, thanks to those who shared their story on this website and thanks to the website coordinators for the great initiative.

I do hope my story brings comfort and relief to those who are grieving and having a tough time making up their mind.