I simply cannot cope with a baby

I am 35 years old, I have two children, one is 9 and my son is 3 and has 5 diagnosed conditions , including challenging behavior and possible autism. I struggle with him daily and I have no parents or family to help me, and his father and my pregnancy's father is an abusive man who daily puts me down and abuses me, he is no support.

I simply cannot cope with a baby and I worry that my son will be violent. I have been to Marie Stopes 3 times now and back out at last minute.

 I cannot get myself to have the abortion, I am confused and no one to talk to and stressed. I am 7 weeks and feel so sick. I simply cannot keep it, I feel so sad.

Editor's Comment 

A very difficult situation when you feel trapped in an abusive relationship,as well as struggling with a child who has a lot of special needs.

Something in your instincts and values is causing you to struggle with choosing the option of abortion. Although your head is telling you that you cannot keep the baby, your heart is agonising over this. 

I think it would help you to talk through your decision so that you are able to come to a place of peace with your choice. There is help available through pregnancy counselling centres, and I hope you will access that help

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