I'm originally from the USA and both of my abortions happened there

I was molested by a 23 year old man when I was 13 years old and became pregnant.

I did not know what was happening, but my mother figured it out and got the story out of me. She confronted him and he denied the baby was his and told her I probably slept with many men.

I refused abortion

My mother immediately brought me to a clinic for an abortion, but I refused. I held my ground and said I did not think it would be right. My mother refused to have anything to do with the baby and I said it can be adopted, but she refused this.

Our doctor told me it was just a bunch of cells and with all the pressure I caved in.

There were older women who were in for their 6th abortion.

I was not given any sort of real counselling and I certainly was never told of the consequences.

Pregnant again at 17

I got pregnant again right before my 18th birthday. I already graduated from high school and wanted to keep the baby. Again, my mother refused. There was no social housing and I did not know where to get any help. I was told I would be out of the house if I kept the baby. My mother paid for my second abortion.

I wish there were pro-life people picketing because I could have asked for them to help me. I felt like there was no other option.

Complications from the last abortion

I am now 41 years old. If both of my children had lived they would be 28 and 23 years old.

For over 20 years I was unable to get pregnant due to complications from the last abortion (both were surgical).

I was accepted for IVF treatment on the NHS with my ex-husband. I came to the top of the list, but did not go through with IVF as our marriage was breaking down.

A few years after we broke up I got involved with someone. We were together just a year when I found out I was pregnant. It was shocking as it never happened since I was 17. Both of us are pro-life and abortion was not an option. Our son is now 20 months old and my fiance and I have a strong relationship.

We would like another child, but my pregnancy was so scary as we were terrified of losing our son especially with all my past fertility problems.

I still think of the two children I lost and consider myself a mother of 3 rather than 1. My heart still breaks over the fact I killed them. People criticise the pro-life movement over their demonstrations, but I wish they were there both times I went for my abortions.

Editor's Comment

Thank you for sharing your story which has been so painful for you to come to terms with.

Your experience at 13 years old must have been very traumatic and I hope the man in question was prosecuted.

Your mother obviously had a very strong influence over these events and it sounded as though you felt powerless to make a different choice without some support.

The issue of pro-life demonstrations outside abortion clinics is a difficult one and I know there is a variety of opinion about such activity. Centres appearing on this website hope to make their services widely available outside of such a context so that women like yourself can access help and support if they feel they are being pressurised into a decision against their will.

Many areas have a pregnancy centre for help and support in decision making for unplanned pregnancy - find a centre for crisis pregnancy support in your area.