Having to wait to find out if I'm pregnant is the hardest thing I've ever done

I need to tell this story because I can't begin to fathom what I'm going through and how unprepared I feel and what a heavy weight this is on a woman. I don't know if I'm pregnant. I'm 25 and in the U.S.

I met a guy at a bar with my friends a week and a half ago and I decided to go home with him. He was good looking and interesting and I thought why not. While at his place he was nothing but nice and we made out and I was having doubts about him thinking maybe I didn't really feel he was that great.

I told him we weren't going to have sex and he asked if I didn't want to fool around with him but I did. We moved to his room and made out and I thought why not just have sex.

I asked if he had a condom, he said yes

I'm young, he's hot, I'm safe. So I asked if he had a condom, he said yes and put it on.

We started to have sex and it wasn't great. I wasn't turned on enough and I should have stopped but I wanted to make it "worth while" for myself.

He got up to get water then we started again

He got up to get water and came back and we started again. At a certain point I was wet enough for it to start feeling pretty good. I started to think i might be able to 'get there' and was vocal about it. He was working so hard that you could hear farting and squishing sounds and I thought that was weird because I wasn't very wet but obviously must have become wet. I 'got there' and he collapsed on top of me.

As I walked I heard the same sounds and thought it strange

I got up to pee and when I stood up I felt like liquid was going to pour out of me. I held my legs together as I walked because I was so afraid. As I walked I heard the same sounds and thought it was so strange because at no point was I turned on to be that wet. I peed and everything was normal.

He drove me home the next morning and I was fine with it being a one time thing. He started to text me and we text for a week. I went out of town to visit a friend and he told me he liked me and it felt good to be wanted and liked but I didn't feel the same about him but I wanted to.

When I got home he asked me to hang out so I did and we watched movies for hours and nothing happened and I realized that I didn't like him and was trying to think of how I should continue or end our time together. 

Right after we had sex until eight days later I felt strange. I felt like I was holding something inside, like I had to pee and my ovaries and behind my belly button just felt different. I always freak out after sex even if there's no reason to because I'm so paranoid.

I asked him if he thought I could be pregnant

I played it off until that last day I saw him. I had felt what were like pains in my stomach and it got me thinking I needed to ask him what he did with the condom because I didn't physically see him throw it away and I've had one stuck inside me before and I was afraid so I asked him if he thought there were any possibility I could be pregnant because my organs felt just weird, thinking he was going to say there was no way because he threw the condom away and didn't actually reach climax.

He asked if I was on birth control and I said no. He said there was a chance and I thought he meant because we used a condom and they are not 100% accurate. I told him I know we used a condom but I wanted to know what he did with it because until I can account for it I'm going to freak out and he said he took the condom off when he got up to get water.

I freaked out and asked him what he was thinking

I was beyond terrified. I asked him if he was inside me without a condom on and he said yes. I then asked him if he came he said yes. He came inside me with no condom on and I had no idea. My world literally stopped spinning.

I freaked out and asked him what he was thinking and he responded that he was sorry, he thought I knew and it was stupid.

I realize now that that was what the lubrication I was feeling inside me was, and when I went to get up and the sloppy sounds were all because of this.

I was on the last day or maybe the day after my period. I had spotted early that morning but my period was over. I asked my coworker who is older what to do. She said that because it was my last day on my period I shouldn't have been ovulating and I should be in the clear.

I can't do anything until my next period

I called my obgyn the next morning and asked them how soon I could take a test and when I could make an appointment. They asked how many days after my missed period I was and I explained the situation.

I literally can't do anything until 6 days before my missed period. I then have to take a test and see if it's positive or negative and wait until I miss my period to take any action.

I have never felt so ashamed, scared, or helpless as I have for the last two days. If I end up being pregnant I will have an abortion as is my right. But this whole situation and the fact that no one ever talks about any of this blows my mind.

Now I see birth control as a prevention

I never got in birth control because I was always afraid of it messing up my body. Now I see birth control as a prevention, I am always careful and responsible and because this guy was so stupid I am now in this situation.

If I had been on Birth control it would be my back up plan for what I couldn't control and I would be less horrified.

I will update this story as soon as I find out but I wanted to share here because I couldn't find one story about a one night stand with someone the girl didn't really care to be with. And I wanted to share a story that tells you how this happens with the same circumstances.

I'm so angry society & my own experiences left me unprepared

I literally don't know how women go through this. Having to wait to find out if I am or am not pregnant is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It's all I think about at my two jobs and I want to be able to take time off work and have people understand that I am absolutely devastated right now.

I know nothing can be known at this time but the sheer thought of it is enough to devastate me right now and I don't know how people do this. As a woman I am so angry that society and my own experiences haven't prepared me for this.

If I'm pregnant I'll deal with it the way so many others have

I hope and pray that I am not pregnant, if I am I will have to deal with it the way so many others here have. It is just so very unfair and sex is something so serious and we don't even realize it.

I am getting in birth control as soon as possible just in case something out of my control like this ever happens again.

This is the hardest process I have ever had to wrap my head around and we are so strong and so much more in control than we give ourselves credit for.

Please educate yourselves and don't have to go through what I am right now. Good luck to you all I will update once I know anything.