My advice is not to go through abortion alone

I have 2 kids and my husband and I were not planning on having anymore kids. We are usually careful but I found out that I was pregnant, I sort of knew even before I took the test, but the test confirmed it.

We are struggling financially and emotionally I didn't think I could cope. So I did the one thing I could think of and I called my GP to arrange a medical abortion, only to find out that you don't need a doctors referral [other medical abortion stories].

I was given a number to call and I called them and the first appointment was arranged for the following day.

When you call, you have total anonymity and you can choose what information (if any) is shared with your GP, where your home address can be used or text messages sent to your phone.

First Appointment:
(Done in two parts)

Part 1

Your details are checked. Your medical history recorded. Your height and weight taken. Your blood type confirmed (pin prick). STI checked (all from pin prick on the finger). Scan to confirm pregnancy and how far you are. Your asked why you want the termination?

After all these steps you're asked to wait outside in the waiting area again.

Part 2

Your file is then passed to doctors that will have to sign and also check and read all your results.

Once they agree, and sign the go ahead, you're called in and the nurse asks you "are  you sure?". Depending on your answer you are given a consent form to read and sign. She explained everything and I asked a lot of questions, which she was happy to answer.

Once I signed it, and before I was given the first tablet she asked me again "are you sure"? and told me to take my time because ONCE you take the first tablet, there is no return.

I took it and she arranged for the second appointment, which I thought would be the following day, but there were no appointments until 48hrs later, but that has a greater chance of success than 24hr, I was happy with that and I went ahead and accepted the appointment.

I was advised to take painkiller an hour before my second appointment, to wear sanitary towel, bring someone or have money for a cab.

Second appointment

Since I didn't tell anyone what was going on, I left home about 2 hours before, so that I could first visit my elderly mum (who was unwell) that took a bit longer than I planned.

I thought it was good idea to drive halfway and then jump on a bus and return later by cab, but this plan went a "little" wrong, because not only did I get stuck in traffic but there were NO buses that would get me there in time. I couldn't miss the appointment, so I decided to drive all the way, and park up a couple of street from the clinic.

I booked a cab to bring me home, because I was unsure how the medicine would make me feel. I went into the clinic, I was only asked who I was, then taken to the waiting room (full of men, which shocked me a bit! lol). I waited about 15 min then I was called by a nurse and taken to a room.

I was given three tablets ONE anti-nausea, and TWO antibiotics. Then I was given the second set of drugs to end the pregnancy. These are four little tablets that you insert in between your gums and upper lip, then a cup of hot water, to sip slowly and these dissolve in about 30mins.

This was what surprised me, the nurse said it takes about 40-60 mins to take effect, I was allowed to go straightaway. I lied and told him I had a friend coming, walked to my car and drove home, it took me about 15 mins to drive back and I would NOT recommend anyone who has to travel any longer than 15-20 to self-drive, this is because within 20 mins of getting home I was crapping and bleeding.

I took a 20 min nap woke up with an urgent need to go toilet. I had serious diarrhea, at the same time I heard the mighty drop and I believed that was when my pregnancy ended. It was a sad moment and probably the only time I felt anything other than panic.

Telling my husband the following day

I told my husband because I was feeling very emotional seeing my beautiful children play and thinking what could've been. I don't think there are many women out there that don't have a regret after an abortion. It might not be straight away but somewhere down the line, you'll have doubts about your actions.

My husband is shocked that I didn't speak to him, cos he could've supported me, but I was to afraid that we'd want different things. I make a decision for ME not for US just me. AND yes maybe that was wrong and maybe just maybe he would encourage me to keep it. But it was the right decision under my current circumstances.

MY ADVICE DONT DO IT ALONE, if you have no-one try and find someone, anyone to take you there and bring you back and also call the advice lines that they give you. It really is a difficult situation and its good to talk so seek counselling and support and remember if you feel it is your only choice, you and only you can make that decision.