If I keep the baby I'll struggle on my own and if I terminate the pregnancy he'll leave

By anonymous on 13/07/2008

I am 25 with three children and pregnant again.

My partner of nine years is very unsupportive and has been since the birth of our first child. He promises that things will change and he will help me with the children, but that never happens. He drinks and gambles a lot, and does not hesitate to leave me struggling on my own.

My youngest child is only eight months old. I think I am about ten weeks pregnant. My partner has told me if I have a termination he will leave.

I feel as though there is no answer to my problem. If I keep the baby I will struggle on my own 99% of the time, but if I terminate the pregnancy, my partner will leave me and my children and will not support us financially either.

Editor's comment

Thanks for writing in... For you, there are losses and gains whatever you choose. Understanding what those losses and gains are, and deciding which ones are most important and which ones are less important, may bring you some clarity. For example, you may say that having the children’s father around is better for them, or you may not, but your situation is more than just the pregnancy issue. It pulls on the whole fabric of your family relationships. I think you may need some support to help you understand what’s happening at that bigger picture level, but for immediate help regarding the pregnancy, contact your nearest centre to talk it through.

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