Having made my decision to go through with the abortion, sitting with the other women, I felt lost

I experienced an abortion when I was twenty-seven years old.

There was no proper counselling beforehand.

I arrived there in the morning, but I do not remember much about that time. It was not until the afternoon that all the women scheduled to have the termination the next day were in a room having a discussion on whether or not they should go through with it, as it is a very serious matter.

Before long, a nurse called to say the doctor wanted to speak with me.

He first asked why I wanted the abortion.

I told him that my boyfriend had the sickle cell illness, that I was previously ill and felt the baby would not be healthy. (The latter part of what I told him was not completely true; I had an accident two years prior to getting pregnant, and was fine by that time).

He then went on to ask if I had the sickle cell illness and I said no. He said the likelihood of the baby getting it was not high.

Straight after he said that, I was about to ask some questions when he said that he had to examine me to see if I was pregnant. (This was obvious as I was quite big for eight weeks). He then said would I like a nurse to be present, and seemed to be answering the question for me (in the negative).

After the doctor examined me, he confirmed that I was having twins and that the pregnancy could not continue due to his examination. Moreover, he added that I had made my decision to go through with the abortion.

Going back upstairs to sit with the other women, I felt lost.

One woman, from Ireland, who had six children, changed her mind. I could not! That doctor rushed the situation, and I think those doctors are from Hell. I do not say this from anger. I really believe it.

Editor’s note:

Thanks for sharing your story…

It seems that you are angry at having your choice taken away from you in the way you describe, as if you feel you were denied the final choice to go ahead.

Your anger may be masking real pain about your abortion experience and the loss of a twin pregnancy and it would be good for you to explore your feelings more thoroughly and in a safe place. You may benefit from talking this through at your nearest centre.