My medical abortion bleeding took 4 days to start and clots were the size of a golf ball

If you're reading this please be sure you know exactly what you want, because once you have taken that pill, there is no going back. I was very much on my own during my procedure, and the timing of everything and the situation was not right. As a mother of one anyway it was heartbreaking, never the less it was what I had to do, so I could move on from the poison in my life at the time.

[Try this page for links to stories organised according to different aspects of abortion.]

I took all the pills in one go

When I went to the clinic, the staff were so lovely to me, I couldn’t have been more appreciative of their welcoming.

I took all my pills in one go, the two tablets to stop the pregnancy, one anti-sickness, four antibiotics and another lot I can’t quite remember, then I was asked to insert the last four vaginally, which I was happy too.

No bleeding at first

I felt a bit sick when I got home, mild cramping and just fatigue but nothing happened. That night nothing happened, the next day nothing happened and the next day nothing happened. I was distraught that I was going to have to do the whole thing again, when I contacted them they were going to book me in for an assessment and a second attempt.

Heavy bleeding 4 days later

4 days and 4 nights later, I woke up at one in the morning with a sudden urge to push, excuse my French but if you're like me and get contractions and pains in your back, I actually thought I needed to fart, so when I pushed, it was an explosion in my pants.

There was nothing anybody could have said to prepare me for what I saw, the clot was so big I had to catch it in my hands, blood ran down my legs, it was on my bedroom floor, my bathroom floor, there was blood everywhere.

Clots the size of a golf ball

I was absolutely distraught. I sat on the toilet for the next three hours pushing out clot after clot after clot, in fact, I was scared I was losing my womb at one point (I know that’s not possible that’s just how scared I was).

Eventually, I felt more confident that if I lay down, the clots would stop and they did, however half 7 the next morning I woke up with another urge to push, so I ran to the toilet and hearing the noise of it all falling out of me made me sick to my stomach.

The same day, my clots were so big I could physically feel them and I could push each of them out. Even when I stood in the shower, a blood clot fell out of me so big, it blocked my drain.

This was my reality, yours could be completely different

Now I’m on my second night, with blood clots still the size of golf balls, and it’s horrifying. This may seem graphic to some of you, but this was my reality.

Everyone is different, I know someone close to me who had a similar procedure, however, we were completely different, and listening to how simple it sounded I wasn’t so afraid.

However, although I feel in the future I'll look back and think I made the right decision, right now I feel the opposite, and now I am left with this memory which is something I will remember and live with forever.