I just remember holding my stomach and begging my baby for forgiveness

Today is 9/30/2015 and my abortion happened 5/28/1989. It still seems so recent.

I was 8 to 9 weeks pregnant. The father was ashamed to tell his family about our baby. We were at one time high school sweethearts. We were 19 years old and already had graduated high school, both had jobs but we were not steady. He had another girlfriend that he took turns with.

When I told him I was pregnant he reacted like his entire family would disown him if they found out. I was so hurt so when he asked me to abort the baby I decided it was for the best. I just couldn't bring a child into the world by myself. I know it's a cop-out but at the time it was the choice I made.

My best friend at the time was 10 years older than me and picked me up one Saturday morning. I told my parents I was going to work. She drove me to Planned Parenthood. I paid, filled out paperwork and waited my turn.

I was taken to a room to undress and put on a gown. Back then they suctioned the fetus out. They partially sedated me but I was so upset I started crying and changing my mind but it was too late the process had already begun.

The male doctor got upset at me and told the nurse to give me more medication because I started to fight it with my legs. The nurse sedated me more and tried to calm me down.

Afterward, the nurse helped me get dressed and I had to wait in a room for like 30 minutes or so.

In that room, I just remember holding my stomach and begging my baby for forgiveness. To this day I still regret my decision and wonder what my life could have been with that child.