I had an early medical abortion two days ago when I was eight weeks pregnant

I had an early medical abortion two days ago when I was eight weeks pregnant. My periods have always been irregular so I didn't think much of it when my period was two weeks late. That was until I started feeling different. I was getting twinges in my lower abdomen.

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So one night whilst watching a film I thought I'd do a pregnancy test, thinking that it would put my mind at rest. When the test came out as positive I couldn't believe it. You don’t think that this kind of thing would happen to you.

My immediate reaction was to phone my boyfriend, but his phone was off, so I couldn't tell him until the next morning. I spent all night crying and wondering what to do, and as I'm only 19 and in my first year at university I decided that an abortion was the best thing to do.

In the morning, I told my boyfriend who was just as shocked as I was. We talked about it and decided together that it was probably best if I had an abortion. I went to the doctors as soon as it opened in the morning and told her what I wanted to do. She referred me to a clinic and told me to call and make an appointment.

I was booked in for a week’s time. During that week I realised that I was slowly talking myself out of the abortion but knew I had to do it. My boyfriend and I didn't tell anyone about the baby, as we knew this would just make it harder.

I had my consultation at the clinic and had to wait another week and a half before the appointment for my actual abortion. The two weeks that I had to wait in total were full of fear and questions about whether this was the right thing to do.

On the day of my abortion, I went to the clinic alone and took the first pill. This was the easy bit as I had no side effects at all. The next day my boyfriend and I went back for the second treatment in which I had to personally place four tablets vaginally.

This was the hardest thing I have ever done. I left the clinic and burst into tears. Neither my boyfriend nor I wanted to abort our baby but knew that it was for the best.

Ten minutes after leaving the surgery I started to feel period-like pains. These weren’t too bad but I knew they would get worse. On the way home, we stopped at the supermarket to get some painkillers. My boyfriend ran in to get them. After ten more minutes, I was in agony. When he got back to the car, I was sick and he rushed me home as soon as possible.

Getting out of the car, I felt dizzy and nauseous and struggled to my door. It was the worst pain I have ever felt. It was like contractions and lasted about two and a half hours. As soon as I noticed I had started bleeding, however, the pain had almost completely gone. And it was just like period pain for the next few hours. There was a lot of blood and it was very uncomfortable, but it was over more quickly than I thought it would be.

Today, two days later I am still feeling cramping pains in my lower abdomen but they are nothing compared to what I had felt before. In all, the abortion was the worst thing I have ever been through and I would not choose to do it again.

I keep crying and feeling guilty about what I have done and at times regret my decision but I know I didn’t have much of an option if I wanted to continue with my education. One day, hopefully, things will be different.