I was having my hormones checked when I found out I was pregnant

I'm 26 and was shocked to find out I was pregnant. My partner is 23 and we've lived together for over a year now. We struggle financially and have our fair share of rows so to discover I was pregnant was such a shock and so upsetting.

I haven't had periods for years and I was having my hormones checked when I found out I was pregnant. Cause I didn't have periods I had to go for a scan to find out how far I was. I went with my partner to a maternity hospital where I had my first scan and found out I was over 7 weeks.

We had decided before we went that we couldn't continue with the pregnancy but the heartbreaking thing was that the hospital who were scanning me didn't know and showed us our baby on the monitor with the heartbeat. I spent the next two weeks heartbroken.

After endless chats with my partner, we decided to we couldn't afford a baby and we weren't ready. I booked my appointment with BPAS where all the staff were lovely.

They re-scanned me and told me I was a week further on than I had thought. They advised a surgical abortion under general anaesthetic would be the best option for me. I booked for the following week.

I was 9-weeks 6-days when I went to the clinic, I felt fine the week up to the abortion until Thursday night when I was hysterical. I couldn't go to work on Friday cause I was so upset and felt like running away on my own. I knew I had to go through with it but just wished there was another way.

I got to the clinic the following morning at 7.30 am and checked in straight away. I was sent upstairs to a small room with about 15 other women all in the same position. I was called in to see the doctor who confirmed everything.

At about 8.30 I was brought to a room with 2 other women and was handed a gown, a pillow and a blanket while they discussed the procedure with me. I burst into tears and couldn't stop crying. The nurses came to see me and talked to me again about my decision and I still went ahead.

I was taken down the theatre at 9.15 and felt a bit more relaxed. The dr and anaesthetist reassured me and before I could count to 5 I was out cold.

I woke up in a bed. No nurse around me and felt a bit drowsy. I was brought to the recovery ward and had a small bit of pain, like a sharp period pain. I was given co-codamol which helped. I noticed how empty my womb felt. I could tell it was gone.

Despite how I felt before my abortion I knew I had made the right decision and think the hormones didn't help. Its the day after surgery and I still know I made the right decision, however, I will never do it again and it was the hardest decision of my life. I only wish my circumstances were different and that I could have provided a good life for the baby.