A high risk medical condition during pregnancy meant termination was the only way

I am hoping that this will help someone else. I scoured the net for people's experiences when trying to decide what to do and was terrified by what i read on both sides of the coin.

I am 30 years old, have no children and have been married for 9 years.

Both my husband and I had already discussed we were not ready to have a family. I have a medical condition that is very high risk for a pregnancy and I would need serious medical advice/support to even go ahead.

Then i found out that i was pregnant. The biggest shock to my system.

I simply could not believe it and I cried and cried.

My husband and I agonised over what we would do- neither of us believed in abortion but we could not have a child at this time of our lives. We decided termination was the only choice for us and it is one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to face.

Appointment set up

I called Marie Stopes who set me up with a telephone appointment the next day. The lady I spoke to was very supportive and kind. I had a telephone medical consult and was then booked in for an appointment in 5 days time.

It was misery waiting and debating my decision over those days.

Appointment at Marie Stopes

I went in for my first appointment alone (against my husbands wishes but this is how i deal with things)- I did come across protestors outside the clinic and was appreciative that I had been forewarned this may happen in previous posts. I just ignored them.

The clinic was clean and professional and all the staff were helpful and friendly.

I saw a nurse for finger prick blood testing and a scan- i did not look at the scan and advise you to just close your eyes. This was an incredibly sad experience for me.

I then waited to see another nurse for my first set of tablets. I took these and after setting up another appointment for the next day I went home. I did not experience any nausea or vomitting but felt a little dizzy.

The next morning I had mild diarrhoea but that was it.

For your second appointment- ensure you are prepared and have taken a full day off work. i would recommend going as early as possible in the morning so that you have a day to recover.

At the next appointment- I had to wait 45 minutes to be seen.

I saw a nurse who gave me the second set of tablets at around 12pm. These took about 5 minutes to dissolve and then i left with my husband. I was told the medication should take about an hour to take effect- for me it was ten minutes! I felt immediate pain in my lower back and abdomen.

The 40 minute train journey home was awful. I felt very spaced out, dizzy, nauseous and in pain. I was sweating, then bone chillingly cold. I almost vomitted but just managed to keep it down.

I was about 5 minutes from home when the bleeding started (and the diarhoea). I felt absolutely in agony. I went straight to the toilet and stayed there about an hour.

The pain was intense and relentless

The rest of the day was spent lying down or on the toilet. The pain was intense and relentless for about 2 hours- I could not get comfortable and was writhing in agony. The bleeding was heavy but it never soaked through a pad or my clothes. I went from hot and sweaty to cold and feverish. I fell asleep about 3 times during that time.

Heating pads helped

Heating pads really helped and trying to eat small bits so that i could take pain killers.

When i was on the toilet I eventually felt something come out of me- i didn't see anything and after that i felt much better.

At around 6pm I was feeling much better. My dizziness; diarrhoea and nausea were gone and I went to sit on the couch. I felt pretty OK by then and went to bed by 10:30. I went to work the next day and the bleeding has been light- no pain or cramping.

It is now 2 days later and I have been back at work, managing my day to day fine, bleeding is light and no pain at all.

I deeply regret it but abortion was right for us

I deeply regret having to be in a situation where i had to make the impossible choice. It will stay with me for a long time even though I know it was the right decision for us. I felt going the medical option meant I had to really experience the loss and my choice and for me that has helped.

I hope this will help someone. There are a lot of horror stories out there. Just make the best choice you can for yourself and be strong!