I'm 14 and can’t sleep properly after an abortion 2 weeks ago

I’m 14 and had an abortion two weeks ago.

My mum still doesn’t know that I’ve had it done. I’m so scared to tell her but I know it’s probably the right thing to do. My school found out and they said they wouldn’t tell her but I’m so scared that they might.

I did want to keep the baby but I know it wasn’t fair on either of us.

Ever since it happened I can’t sleep properly and whenever I see people who are pregnant or see pictures of babies I feel really guilty or just get really angry. I know it sounds stupid but I feel like I’m about to have a breakdown. I don’t know anymore. I just feel so stupid.

Editor’s note

Thanks for writing in…

You don’t say what sort of relationship you have with your mum, whether you feel close or distant, but now this secret is a barrier between you both, isn’t it?

It’s hard to live with this sort of secret for a very long time. Your mum may be shocked and upset at first, but after that, her love for you as her daughter is more likely to come through than not.

Mums can be hurt by secrets when they really just want to be supportive of their daughters. Go by the relationship you had with your mum before this happened to you.

You are young, but even at 14, you had an instinct towards and not away from your baby. That’s why you are experiencing guilt and anger now despite the fact that it seemed the logical thing to do. There's no need to feel stupid... many women experience exactly what you are experiencing following an abortion.

The circumstances of your situation must have weighed heavily on you to have made a decision for abortion when one part of you was saying one thing and another part something else.

Having an abortion can be a profound experience and I think it might help you to have some confidential support from a centre.

It may be a relief for you to find someone to talk to about it who understands. We’ll be thinking of you.