I knew my decision long before I said it out loud

I'm a fourth year student at University and due to graduate this summer.

I'm single, with no clear life path and 12 weeks pregnant to a random who took serious advantage of me walking home after a heavy night out.

I weighed up every option but I think realistically I knew my decision long before I said it out loud.

I understand fully the pro-life argument and agree with many aspects of it but ultimately I'm not ready to raise a child, especially under these circumstances. I couldn't guarantee it the best start in life and I decided it wasn't fair on it - or me.

Honestly though I (naively) didn't realise how bad the procedure is going to be until I read similar stories online and I'm bricking myself.

I had no idea it was a fully formed baby that could be seen or that there is an umbilical cord to be cut.

I know my head has been in the sand here but nobody really speaks about the procedure just about the decision.

It's just difficult when you know you've made the 'right' decision but it's the hardest thing you've ever had to do.

I'll post again after Tuesday about the experience and hopefully help someone else in a similar situation as they have really helped me through this.